There is an old African proverb that says:
It takes a village
to raise a child.
But when I was asked for parenting advice by a friend who was planning on starting a family soon, I wanted to give her my own proverb.
It takes a village
to raise a mother.
Some mothers are practically perfect in every way, but then there are mothers like me. Mothers who love their children and delight in rearing them, but who sometimes hide in the bathroom to close their eyes and pray for patience. Mothers who put their kids in their room for time out to buy time to brainstorm, "WHAT do I DO with this kid???" Mothers who laugh and cuddle their children in the morning and pray in exhaustion for their children to fall asleep at night. Mothers who are human, with all the shortcomings and weakness that comes with being human. Even when our kids think we're super-heroes, we're just tired mamas, trying to raise champions in the midst of chaos.
Mentor-mamas are your super power. Get at least three of them. Your own mother or grandmother might be one. You might find a mom just a little further along in her mothering journey who is able to give you valuable feedback. I have a couple "bonus moms" who mother ME as I mother my babies. Their love is empowering and humbling. To be able to call a mom and get gentle, experienced advice when I'm having a mini-meltdown is invaluable. I also have mama friends who are in the same age and stage that I am, and they are like an army of allies beside me. We giggle and sigh and share about our children, and our experience as mothers deepens.
This Mother's Day, I have a list of cards to deliver. My own mom might be in heaven, but I still have mothers. Mothers who encourage and support me. Mothers who pray with me. Mothers who laugh with me when my kids are just too much. Mothers who text me just to see how life is going. Mothers who I love.
It may take a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to grow a strong mother. If you don't have a village, parenting is harder. Develop your village. Love your village Encourage the mothers around you. Make some extra cards this year for the "bonus mothers" in your life.
Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful mommies!
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