"How are you?"

   A week ago today was my mom's final day on earth. It was miserable. She was tired and in pain. My dad was an emotional wreck, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was wearing out the knees in my jeans praying for God to give Dad strength to cope and to give Mom strength to endure.

   I called her Monday evening to tell her that I loved her and goodnight, but she never answered. The next morning she died in her sleep. (What a way for her to wake up! She spent the night in pain and trying to sleep, but she woke up to LIFE! It's like the verse in Psalms that says, "There may be pain in the night, but JOY comes in the morning.")

   A week later and we're still trying to adjust. We cleaned out her room last week, and the last call on her cell phone was a missed call from me. That was sad. I found that she used a silly picture of me as a bookmark in the Bible on her nightstand. It made me ache because I missed her love.

   I have been overwhelmed with love too though. I totally dissolved into a puddle when one of my mom's closest friends was praying with me and said, "Lord, I assume this daughter for as long as I am on earth." Another one of my mom's very close friends checks up on me to make sure that I'm eating and functioning. (Which makes me laugh, because my mom always fussed at me to make sure that I was eating too.) Yet another mother came by and did my dishes in spite of my protests.

   But I still don't know how to answer everyone who asks, "How are you?"

   I am sad. I am blessed. I am shocked, grieving, and hurt, but I am also confident, joyful, and hopeful. I feel like a zombie sometimes, too tired for any more emotion. Other times I am so overwhelmed by emotion that I can barely move. I am happy that her suffering is finished. I am more aware of how my life impacts my children and what it means to "leave a legacy."

   Wow. What a week.

   How am I?

   I am ...recovering.

   Recovering like after a crazy workout when you're almost too sore to walk or move, but it feels good because you made it and you know how much stronger your muscles will be. All that's left to do is rest, eat, stretch and let healing happen.

   Thank you all for the love and prayers this week. My babies thank you too. :-) Christian summed up the week like this: "We had a really hard week, didn't we, Mom? It's a good thing that week is over. Now we can get on to the Good Stuff."