Christian's thoughts on dentists...

   Christian recently knocked a tooth loose, and since the adult tooth was so close to coming in anyway, we got to visit the dentist today to "wiggle" out the tooth. The pediatric dentist was so nice, but Christian wasn't understanding all their "baby talk."

   For example, they asked him if his mouth was getting "all tickly" yet. "Do you mean numb?" he asked. "Sort of, but I still have a little sensation right here."

   "Make sure you're flossing every night so the sugar-bugs aren't growing on your teeth, ok?" they cautioned him. "Sugar bugs?" he queried. "Are you talking about bacteria? I know that bacteria feeds off of sugar, but there aren't BUGS in my mouth."

   While they were working in his mouth he started pushing them away, so they asked what was wrong. "Sorry, but I really have to expectorate," he explained. Their faces were priceless.

   After he was done, he was sitting up and drooled. "Oops," they said, "Don't touch that red stuff. We'll wipe it up." "Do you mean the blood?" my son clarified. Then he reassured them, "Don't worry. It will clot soon."

   Oh, this kid of mine. :-)

   On the way home, we had a detailed conversation about the mechanisms of blood clotting, and I used an analogy of building a temporary dam across a creek with mud and rocks (blood clot) to hold back the water while you poured a concrete dam (tissues healing).

   Later on that afternoon I almost sent him to his room when I caught him saying "That damn thing in my mouth hurts." Yeah... he meant to say, "That dam-thing in my mouth," referring to the clotting analogy. Sigh.

   I am off to work tooth-fairy magic before I collapse for the night.

"How DO you do it?!?"

This Mother's Day a friend gushed to me, "I don't know how you DO it as a single parent! I barely get everything done myself."

Here's the secret to getting everything done... 

...JUST KIDDING. I have no clue! Parenting is a juggling act at the best of times, and I've never been great at juggling. I drop balls all the time. There aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done, so I prioritize which balls to drop and which to keep in the air. 

Sometimes the homework gets dropped and the kids' teacher asks me if the homework packets have even been making it home. 

Sometimes my budgeting time gets dropped and I thank my foresight in setting up all automatic payments. 

Sometimes I don't sleep nearly enough. I glanced in the mirror at work last night and jumped. The reflection in the glass looked like a homeless hag who had a terminal case of crazy.

Sometimes I pour the kids' cereal into cups because all the other dishes are dirty. Shoot, sometimes we skip the cereal and just eat fruit and granola bars. I tell the kids that it's a breakfast picnic. Because I'm THAT awesome of a mom.

Sometimes my car looks like Storage Wars exploded inside it because I don't have the energy to carry both kids, all the backpacks and shoes, the groceries, AND everything else into the house. I've thought about making a regular car-cleaning day of the week, but when I try to find an empty space to plug that into my schedule, there isn't one.

Sometimes my kids act up because they miss focused mommy-time when I am too busy trying to keep all the other balls in the air. This ball is one that I really try not to drop. Even if the house is a war-zone, even if the dirty dishes are looming in mountainous proportions, even if the backpacks are stuffed with undone homework, sometimes the Most Important Thing is a tickling match or a bug-hunting expedition. 

Parenting is always a game of priorities. No matter what your parenting situation, raising kids is difficult and exhausting. It requires strategy and discipline (neither of which is my strong suit). I don't get everything done, but I usually make time for fun and love in the midst of the chaos. 

My social networking posts tend to be positive and fun, and too many people tell me what a perfect mom I am, so consider this a peek into the "real" world of this mama. The world where we push the clean laundry to one side of the couch to make room to cuddle and read together. The world where we leave the house and go hiking because there is too much work to do at home, and the kids need my attention more than the kitchen counters need my attention. The world where I promise my kids' teacher that the homework will all get done... someday. The world where I sigh in relief when I log into my bank account and see that all is well, in spite of my neglect. 

But one thing is true: I am a perfect mother. Perfect for MY kids. God knew what He was doing when He designed me with my unique skill set and passions, and He knew what He was doing when he formed my children. 

Perfect mothers love their children sacrificially. Perfect mothers teach their children priorities in the midst of real life. Perfect mothers see the big picture and realize that sometimes it's ok to let balls drop for a season. 

...and sometimes perfect mothers let their children watch cartoons while the housework goes unattended in order to carve out time for some devotions and a little blog-rumination about how perfect mothers manage to get everything done. 

Hats off to you perfect mothers! I don't know how you do it! Please feel free to share your secrets with me. 

Mothers, Mothers, Everywhere!

There is an old African proverb that says:

It takes a village

to raise a child.

But when I was asked for parenting advice by a friend who was planning on starting a family soon, I wanted to give her my own proverb.

It takes a village

to raise a mother.

"Find mentor-mamas!" I told her. "You'll need them."

Some mothers are practically perfect in every way, but then there are mothers like me. Mothers who love their children and delight in rearing them, but who sometimes hide in the bathroom to close their eyes and pray for patience. Mothers who put their kids in their room for time out to buy time to brainstorm, "WHAT do I DO with this kid???" Mothers who laugh and cuddle their children in the morning and pray in exhaustion for their children to fall asleep at night. Mothers who are human, with all the shortcomings and weakness that comes with being human. Even when our kids think we're super-heroes, we're just tired mamas, trying to raise champions in the midst of chaos.

Mentor-mamas are your super power. Get at least three of them. Your own mother or grandmother might be one. You might find a mom just a little further along in her mothering journey who is able to give you valuable feedback. I have a couple "bonus moms" who mother ME as I mother my babies. Their love is empowering and humbling. To be able to call a mom and get gentle, experienced advice when I'm having a mini-meltdown is invaluable. I also have mama friends who are in the same age and stage that I am, and they are like an army of allies beside me. We giggle and sigh and share about our children, and our experience as mothers deepens.

This Mother's Day, I have a list of cards to deliver. My own mom might be in heaven, but I still have mothers. Mothers who encourage and support me. Mothers who pray with me. Mothers who laugh with me when my kids are just too much. Mothers who text me just to see how life is going. Mothers who I love.

It may take a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to grow a strong mother. If you don't have a village, parenting is harder. Develop your village. Love your village Encourage the mothers around you. Make some extra cards this year for the "bonus mothers" in your life.

Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful mommies!